proposal

habang nagchichit chat kami sa bahay nila..

at ito ang laman ng box

sana tuloy tuloy na.sana matupad namin ung dreams namin.wedding will be in 2011 pa.he knows na i want to go back to school pa.he's so supportive.alam nya na may gusto pa ako gawin para sa sarili ko at ganun din sha.sabi nga nya sakin ang important is ung commitment namin sa isa't isa na kami na talaga. yeah we're engaged!!pero wala munang mangyayari ng wedding.in 2 years pa mangyayari un.we're not in a hurry naman.okay naman kami sa set up namin.he's living with his parents and i have my own place.okay naman lahat so hayaan muna namin na ganito..

we've been through a lot patrick.ang dami kong pagkukulang at pagkakamali sa relationship natin.ilang beses ako nalihis ng landas pero like what u've said di ko kailangan pagsisihan ung mga nangyari in between coz dahil dun narealize natin ang importance ng isa't isa.i didn't expect na dadating ulit tayo sa point ng proposal or shall i say i didn't expect it this soon.don't worry boo, in 2 years magiging MRS. GARCIA na ako..thank you for making me one of the happiest and contented woman on earth..i love you so much..

cyberlove

a friend ask me for an advice/opinion.she met someone online.taga pinas ung guy.mabait at super sweet daw.she's planning na umuwi sa pinas para imeet ung guy.she asked me kung tama ba daw ung gagawin nya.she's scared daw kung anu magiging outcome.wala akong nakikitang mali sa gagawin nya.if she really wants to go to pinas why not.sabi ko nga sa kanya, pano mo malalaman kung di mo susubukan. i told her na dapat ready sha kung anu aabutan nya sa pinas.i mean she just met the guy online.we're not sure kung nagsasabi ba ng totoo ung guy o hindi.pwede shang magimbento ng isang katauhan na di naman sha.ayoko ijudge ung guy o kung sino man ung nasa relationship na sa cyberworld nagkakilala. pero dapat aware din tayo sa mga pwede nangyari.if you're a regular reader sa lumang blog ko you know na i've been in a relationship that started sa cyberworld pero it didn't work for us.hindi lahat ng nagkakakilala sa online world nagtatagumpay.may isang friend din ako na nakilala nya ung guy online pero niloko lang sha.akala nya nagsasabi ng totoo ung guy pero di pala.lahat ng kwento imbento lang nung mokong.dumating sa point na may money nang involve.i can't blame my friend na magbigay sha ng money coz mahal at pinagkakatiwalaan nya ng bonggang bongga ung guy hanggang sa nakahalata na sha.nagmala CSI sha at SOCCO sa pagiinvestigate.ayun ang end up niloloko lang sha nung guy.partida nagkita sila sa pinas pati family nila okay so akala nyo super serious na talaga ang relationship. may kilala naman ako na nakilala nya ung asawa nya online.super okay naman ang relationship nila.ang point ko lang is depende sa tao kung magwowork ung relationship na nagstart online then possible na maging long distance relationship.personally, di ako pwede sa ganung relationship, i mean LDR.i don't know why, it's just that it's not for me.

sabi ko nga sa friend ko, if you really want to meet the guy then umuwi ka ng pinas.just be open sa mga pwede mangyari.it might be positive or negative.basta dapat no regrets sa huli.

milli, if ever maligaw ka dito.i wish you luck and happiness.malay mo sha na ung guy na matagal mo hinihintay..

nonsense post

i have a new theme..so far im loving it.i like my previous theme kaso parang napakawholesome..lol..a friend told me parang mukang baby blog..so wholesome daw, parang di ako...im not saying na im not wholesome pero if you really know me, you know na i have my lil naughty side..

been sick since yesterday.i wasn't able to go to work.nahawa ata ako kay boypren.siguro bumaba ung immune system ko because of puyat and stress this past days..boypren is okay na naman..medjo weak padin pero he's getting better na..sabi ng doctors seasonal flu lang pero if he doesn't feel better in 10 more days ibalik daw namin sa hospital.naiinis ako sa kanya.he's so hard headed..mas matigas pa sa ulo ko i told him couple of times to drink more fluids and eat some fruits, he always say na un daw kinakain nya pero pag nakita mo sa room puro junk foods.kakaloka na talaga sha.

its almost 10 am na ngayon kaso i don't know if magwowork me.medjo kaya ko naman kaso natatakot lang ako baka biglang sumama pakiramdam ko ulit pagpasok ko.ang hirap pa naman umuwi once you're at work na.nahihiya ako kung maiiwan ko ung trabaho sa ibang tao.

a friend told me na an ex's dad is sick.pls pray for him and his family.

A 2 Z

i'm bored..gusto ko magblog kaso parang constipated ang brains ko.i saw this one sa site ng sisteret ko, naisip ko na ito nalang ipost..
A
- Available: nope.
- Age: 26
- Annoyance: ung mga mapagpaggap at mapaggawa ng story.
B
- Beer: not really..i'd rather have hard..
- Birthday: basta scorpion ako..
- Blind or Deaf: nothing..mahirap parehas eh..ngayon ngang malabo mata ko maluka luka na ako.
- Best weather: sunny..
- Believe in Magic: sa love oo pero ung mga magic sa party, hindi..
- Believe in Santa: dati nung bebe pa ako..
C
- Candy: not really..gusto ko ng gum..
- Color: pink and blue..
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican Food: chinese
- Cake or pie: depende sa cake or pie..
- Continent to visit: maybe europe **continent ba ang europe?**
- Cheese: i love cheese lalo na ung sa pinas chaka provologne..
D
- Day or Night: night..
- Dancing in the rain: depende sa rain..
E
- Eyes: dark brown
- Everyone's got: their own way on how to deal with life..**nosebleed**
- Ever failed a class: yup..
F
- First thoughts waking up: what time is it?
G
- Greatest Fear: mawala ang family at loved ones ko..
- Goals: balik sa school soon..
- Gum: kiwi flavor..
- Get along with your parents: yup..super..
H
- Hair Color: black
-Height: im proud to be 4'11..lol!
- Happy: super and contented..
- Holiday: thanksgiving..
- How do you want to die: in my sleep..
I
- Ice Cream: i love ice cream..
- Instrument: dati i know how to play the piano..
J
- Jewelry:ring, earrings and bracelet..
- Job: nurse

K
- Kids: wala pa eh..soon siguro..
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing..
-Keep a journal: blog..considered journal naman un diba?
L
- Love: mahirap idefine eh..
- Laughed so hard you cried: lagi..madali ako matawa eh..
M
-Milk flavor: gusto ko ung may strawberry..
- Movies: romance
-Motion sickness: nope
-McD’s or BK: jollibee..
N
- Number: 14
O
- One wish: sana kami na nga..
P
- Pepsi/Coke: diet coke
- Perfect Pizza: maui zaui ng round table..
- Piercings: yup..got 3..
Q
- Quail: eggs??
R
- Reality T.V.:john and kate plus 8..
- Radio Station: not really..
- Roll your tongue in a circle: nope..
- Ring size: 4.5
S
- Song: forevermore by side A..theme song namin..
- Shoe size: depende.rubber shoes size 5, other kinds 4 1/2
- Salad Dressing: ranch baby
- Sushi: nope..ayoko ng raw
- In the "Shower": do my ritual..
- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries
T
- Tattoos: i have 2..
- Time for bed: 3-5 am
- Thunderstorms: im scared of it..
U
- Unpredictable: ako si spur of the moment type of person
V
- Vacation spot(s): pinas shempre
W
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: wala..unique kami eh.iba iba kami ng trip..
- Worst feeling: brokenhearted
- Worst Weather: windy tapos foggy..
X
- X-Rays: MRI nalang..
Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: college ex's fave color..

Z
- is for: zoo..corny ko,,
- Zoo animal: elephant?..lol..

spasiba..

i feel relieved..

boypren is home na..

salamat sa mga nagpray..

he's recovering good...

boo, i wont get tired taking care of you..u need to be better na..u owe me bigtime labing labing na..lol!!

BF=Patient

what a day?!im currently blogging and plurking sa hospital..kanina pa po tapos ang shift ko.i decided na magstay muna ang beauty ko dito dahil nakaconfine si boypren..at ang masaya nun ako ang huling nakaalam..ang mas masaya patient ko sha kanina..super weird ng feeling kaso i need to be professional.

nung morning around 8 am he texted me na he's not feeling well na.i asked him kung ano ang mga signs and symptoms na nararamdaman nya.sabi nya heavy lang daw ung feeling, medjo mainit daw sha, walang gana kumain at medjo nahihilo.i told him na di nalang ako papasok sa work at punta nalang me sa kanila.sabi nya okay lang daw sha.ipapahinga lang daw nya un.i just told him na uminom ng meds and rest.so, as usual i sms's him before me pumasok.i'm not expecting naman na magreply sha coz i know na nagpapahinga ung tao.nakasanayan lang namin to send sms before kami pumasok sa work.so pumasok na me sa work.pagdating ko sa floor we did our routine.endorsement muna with the morning shift.i only have 4 patients kanina so as expected i have one admission coming.sabi ni jing (nurse from am shift) may coming admission daw ako ng 4 pm.asa ER paraw pero paakyat na.nireready lang daw ung room.i asked her anung diagnosis di daw nya alam.tawagan ko daw ung ER para makapag telephone endoresement.after checking my other 4 patients i called ER, nakausap ko unh nurse in charge.nagbigay sha ng endorsement.male, 26 years old daw.dehydration daw ang main diagnosis kaso kailangan iobserve pa kasi possible stomach flu.sabi nya paakyat na din daw ung patient.nagmamadali ung ER nurse at nakalimutan ko itanong ung name ng patient.after the endoresement pumunta muna ako sa patient ko na kakatransfer lang from CCU.pinoy sha kaya medjo chika muna kami.dumating ung nursing aide namin at sabi andun na daw ung admission.so kinuha ko muna ung mga paraphernalia ko para sa physical assessment (protocol kasi sa hospital namin un.) babasahin ko sana ung chart muna from ER nang biglang pinuntahan ako nung co nurse ko.sabay sabi "goodluck LoV, for sure u'll have a goodnight.ngayon matetest ang pagiging nurse mo"..kinabahan ako sabi ko bakit nya nasabi un, ang sinabi lang nya sakin is "SECRET!!"..promise kinabahan ako..feeling ko hard to handle nanaman ito o kaya family na hard to handle..sabi ko sa sarili ko kaya ko ito.pinuntahan ko na ung room.nakatalikod si patient.walang family members na pwede kausapin at hingan ng consent for physical assessment.

me: good afternoon sir..my name is LoV.i'll be your nurse for tonight.

Patient: **sabay harap sakin**

me: **gulat mode as in di ako nakapagsalita**

pagmumuka ni boypren ang nakita ko..sha ang patient ko..di ko lam kung matatawa ako o magaalala ako..

me: anung ginagawa mo dito?anu nangyari?

Pat: di ko na kaya kanina eh.i asked mom na dalhin ako ng ER.

me: bakit di mo ko tinawagan?are you okay?nu pakiramdam mo?

Pat: i'm lil bit okay.di nakita tinawagan coz i know magaalala ka lang at papagalitan mo ko.akala ko makakauwi din ako. dont worry na im okay naman lalo na ikaw nurse ko.

me: pasalamat ka may sakit ka kundi sinermunan na kita. asan si tita?

Pat: umuwi saglit para kumuha ng things.

me: panu yan i need to do physical assessment sayo?protocol yan dito.

pat: huh?!ikaw magchechek?

me: kung ayaw mo ako, i can ask another nurse to do that.

pat: ikaw nalang..*sabay kindat**

me: aba nakakakindat ka pa ha..

i did the physical assessment.infairness professional ako.talagang patient lang tingin ko sa kanya. natapos ang admission routine namin.doctor came with new orders.may isang med order na IM.knowing him, ayaw nya ng injections..imaginine nyo nalang na isang big built guy, 5'8'' in height and 180 lbs NURSE na takot sa karayom..nung nilalagyan nga raw sha ng IV parang gusto na daw nya ako tawagin at pigilan ung nurse..7 pm came.he's due with his IM meds.i don't have any choice but to give it.i felt bad for him coz i know ayaw nya nun.

after my shift i decided na magstay dito.i asked his mom na umuwi na at magpahinga..i'll stay over here hanggang bukas ng morning then ligo lang then work ulit..hopefully maging okay lahat ng lab result nya tom..sana makauwi na din sha..

ang hirap talaga pag loved ones mo ung may sakit..shempre strong strongan ako sa harap nya pero super worried ako..

he's sleeping na.they gave him lunesta to make him fall asleep..ako, ewan ko kung makakatulog ako..buti nalang may TFC dito sa hospital..

pls pray for my loving pero duwag na boyplen..

tibia lublub

kung tutuusin almost five years na kami ni bf..in between that times may mga panahon na nagbreak kami..the longest time na wala kami was i think 3 months at recently lang un..we just got back together like few weeks ago..

i met him sa isang bday party.sinama ako ng friend kong si jules sa party nung co worker nya.i didn't even know the bday celebrant.tapos high school friend pala nya ung celebrant.typical filipino party, everyone seems to be close kahit hindi.introduce introduce ang drama.i didn't even pay attention to his name.kumbaga nothing special.mas naaalala ko ung isang friend nila kasi super funny.parang sha ung clown that night so sha ung tumatak sa utak ko.nauna silang umuwi that time kasi drunk na ung isang friend.he just said bye and i thought that was it.after few minutes lumapit ung bday celebrant sakin and told me na he wants to get my number.sabi ko ill think about it.*pakipot mode*.actually that time i wasn't looking for anything.kuntento ako sa work at friends ko and i thought baka naaliw lang sha then the next day makakalimutan na nya ako.days have passed.jules called me.kinukulit daw sha nung friend nya about my number kasi nangungulit daw si pat(bf's name) to get my number.pumayag na din ako.then after few hours nagring phone ko.number lang ang lumabas.at first i was hestitant to answer it.binayaan ko muna magring.i told myself kung important un magiiwan ng voicemail un panigurado..at nagiwan nga ng message..when i checked it 'lo and behold sha nga.he told me to call him back pag di me busy.eventhough di me busy di ako nagreturn call.the next day he called again.we talked for hours.may sense sha kausap.napapatawa nya ako.naging call and text mate kami for few months.di lumagpas ang isang araw na di kami naguusap.sabi ko pa nga i found a best guy friend in him.wala ng inhibitions.nasasabi ko na lahat sa kanya.after being friends for months he asked me out.una with chaperone/friends pa nmn.i admit, i had fun.tawa kami ng tawa.the next thing i know we've been dating na.pumupunta na kami sa beach together.minsan he drops me off or picks me up at work.nafefeel ko na may something na pero ayoko mag assume.then one time we went to this overlooking downtown spot.habang nakatingin kami sa lights ng downtown bigla na lang nya tinanong:

Pat: what are we?

me: *wtf?!naloka ako sa tanong..gusto ko tumalon sa cliff.* "friends right?!".

*awkward and silence moment na*

Pat: i want more than that..i want you to be my girl.i want you to be mine.

me:di ako nakapagsalita pero aaminin ko kinilig ako

pat: are you okay?

me: yeah, napaisip lang ako sa sinabi mo.

he just hugged me after that conversation..di na namin ulit napagusap ung topic na yan.we still talks everyday.ganun padin kami..like we used to do, we went out for a ride.joyride lang around town *mura pa gas nun* ..habang nasa stoplight kami, he looks into my eyes and said "i love you"..nanlamig ako.di ko alam kung maiihi o maiiyak ako.sumagot nalang ako ng i love you too..then the rest is sabi nga nila is history..

madami na kaming pinagdaanan.a lot of ups and downs pero we're happy na magkasama parin kami.we learned a lot from our mistakes.sana ngayon tuloy tuloy na.umalis kami kanina.he surprised me with a breafast date.i asked him anung meron.di pa naman namin anniversary.he told me na today was the first time na nagkakilala kami.t'was June 20, 2004.i was surprised na naalala nya un.he's bad with dates kasi.i hugged him tight and told him how touched i am and how much i appreciate him.sabi nya ung time na wala kami andami nya narealize, he realized ang importance ko and how much he loves me.kung anu man ang nangyari those months na wala kami di ako nagsisisi.that helped me realized a lot of things.minsan lang talaga u need to learn ur lesson sa hardest possible way.

mr. booko, thank you for being true to me.thank you for understanding me.thank you for being there for me all this years.super naapreciate ko lahat ng ginawa mo for me.more years to us.tibia lublub!!

trivia: tibia lublub is russian word meaning i love you very much

wicked bitch..eeerrrr...wicked witch pala..

it's been a long day..actually late na ako nagising..12 pm na me nagising then i have work pa ng 3 pm..wala pa akong cooked food kaya i dont have anything to eat..it's either i'll eat delata ulit o kaya fast food..tinawagan ko si bf kung gusto nya kumain sa labas before me work..pumayag naman so we just ate sa red ribbon na malapit sa work ko..

habang nagreready ako, nagcheck ako ng ym ko..nagimbal ako sa offline messages ko..naloka ako to the point na gusto ko magtumbling..medjo hot topic daw ako..tsk tsk..i dont want to divulge more sa infos..mahirap na kasi..too bad i was too late sa eksena..wala na akong naabutan..pero ayos lang un, masarap naman tulog ko habang minemention nila name ko..ako si sleeping beauty walang kaalam alam na wicked witch na pala ako sa paningin ng iba..honestly, i dont care what other people think of me..mas kilala ko sarili ko sa kanila..atleast naging totoo ako sa sarili ko..kesa naman gumawa ako ng stories just to gain more friends tapos sa ending malalaman din nila ung totoo..una natawa ako sa mga narining ko..di lang isang tao ang pinagtanungan ko ng opinion nila regarding that "thing"..i asked couple of people about the "thing"..ayoko kasi maging biased eh..tinanong ko ung opinion nila..halos pareparehas sila ng sinabi..kung anu man un akin nalang un..hanggang ngayon natatawa pa din ako sa mga nangyari pero at the back of my mind i was upset..upset kasi i'm not there para ipagtanggol sarili ko..im thinking din kung bakit ganun nangyari..what did i do para magkaganun sha..infairness naman i've been nice sa kanya..i know i did something wrong but not directly sa kanya..bakit ganun ang reaction?..i dunno..parang may puzzle sa utak ko na unti unti nang nabubuo..hay naku buhay nga naman full of mysteries..

naalala ko tuloy ung song ni alanis morissette nung high school ako..i forgot the title pero ung lyrics is: I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,I'm a child, I'm a mother,I'm a sinner, I'm a saint I do not feel ashamed..

ayan sakin na naggaling ha..i hope ur happy na..stop hatin' baby..we all deserve to be happy.. peace out!! *egot na egot dating ko..lol!!*

hula

totoo kaya ang hula?eh ung palm reading?eh ung horoscope?sabi ng prof ko nung college di daw totoo ang hula..imposible daw na may taong makakabasa ng future mo..

may isa akong patient kanina..she's on her early 50's..may heart problem sha kaya naconfine..anyway, during my last rounds she asked me if she can see my palm..pinakita ko naman..tapos sabi nya kung gusto ko daw ba malaman kung anu ang nasa palm ko, kung anu ang future ko..ako naman pumayag..i mean nung una parang wala lang..gusto ko lang malaman kung anu sasabihin nya..first she checked my health lines..ingatan ko daw heart ko..sabi ko sa kanya na okay naman heart ko kasi in love ako..tumawa sha sabay sabi na alam ko naman daw ang ibig sabihin nya..next is ung education line..magaaral pa daw ako ulit..malayo daw mararating ko..smart daw ako..madami daw akong alam na di alam ng tao..then social relationship line naman..madali daw akong pakisamahan..mabait daw ako pero pag nagalit di maganda..madali ako magtiwala..i easily forgive daw pero i never forget..then lastly is ung personal relationship..medjo matagal nyang niread ang palm ko..sabi nya..i'll get married soon..shempre naloka ako..uso ba talaga ang kasalan ngayon??..anyway, balik tayo sa topic..twice daw ako ikakasal..mas naloka ako dito..happy marriage daw ung unang kasal ko..mahaba daw ung magiging relationship namin..tapos i asked her, kung happy kami bakit may second marriage..i asked her kung magloloko ba ung 1st husband ko, sabi nya hindi daw mawawala daw ung 1st husband ko..in short madededbol daw..scary.. tapos ung second marriage daw happy din..maswerte daw ako sa marriages ko..napaisip ako anung swerte dun eh twice ako magaasawa??..hay naku..dalawa din daw magiging anak ko..after nun nagdecide na ako magpaalam kasi uwian na..

hanggang ngayon napapaisip ako kung totoo ba ito??si boyfriend ba ang magiging husband number 1 ko??magppropose na ulit sha sakin??panu kung hindi sha??sino kaya??hay naku nakakaloka..sana may kasagutan sa ng mga tanong ko..

OT: kakainis..gusto ko na magplurk ulit..nagloloko naman nung nag sign up ako..bakit ko pa kasi binura old account ko..im so gaga talaga..

beach bum

i slept late last night..eerrrr i mean morning na pala..i slept around 6 am na..was so busy fixing my new haven..natatawa nalang ako sa sarili ko..kinain ko lahat ng sinabi ko..sabi ko i'll quit blogging na..di ko pala kaya..my bad..kaya eto back to blogging nanaman ako..

i woke up around 9 am..tumawag kasi si boyfriend.nagaaya pumunta sa beach kasi maganda ang weather.knowing our place, bihira lang talaga gumanda ang weather dito kaya dapat sulitin na.since day off naman ako sumama nalang me.matagal na naming di nagagawa un.pumunta sa beach.he knows how much i love the beach.dumaan muna kami sa store to buy some soda and chips. iba talaga ang effect ng beach sakin..nakakarelax in an instant..lakad lakad muna sa shore..kulitan at habulan lang.then suddenly i saw a familiar face.pilit ko iniisip kung kakilala ko o kung san ko nakilala ung guy.i even asked my boyfie kung kilala nya ng guy.he said no.so deadma nalang ako.after a while lumapit ung guy sakin.he asked me if im **insert my real name** ..i was shocked..as in..then i asked him who is he..he said "im joven..joven santos.." di ako nakapagsalita..WTF!!he was my high school MU..opo may mutual understanding kami nung 4th year high school kami..gusto ko tumabling nung sinabi nya un..nagiba ung muka nya..aaminin ko he looks a lot better now..shempre naman nene at totoy pa kami nun..pinakilala ko sha kay boyfriend..kwentuhan kami ng konti..he told me na he's a priest na..naasign sha dito sa may amin..may mass sha sa sunday and he's inviting us..di ako nagcommit kasi may work me nun..naloka ako..as in..i didn't expect him to be a priest..anyway, i'm happy for him..makikita mo sa face at aura nya ung contentment sa life..ito ang pinakabonggang linya nya bago kami naghiwalay.."ako ang magooficiate sa wedding nyo ha..promise mo yan.."..dinaan ko nalang sa tawa..humirit naman si boyfriend, sige po father, promise ko yan kaso itong bride ko ayaw pa eh..kakaloka sila..wala na akong naisagot at naireact kundi smile..di pa ako ready..dadating din tayo jan..maybe this year, next year..i dunno..

on our way home, kinwento ko kay bf ung story namin nun..salamat naman at di kumitid ang utak nya at natawa nalang sha sa high school story namin..we end the day by hug and kiss..opo hug and kiss lang kasi may red flag..

simple lang ang nagdaang araw..nothing special happend..pero daig pa ang may occasion ang naramdaman ko kasi nakasama ko ang taong mahal ko..

welcome to my haven...

welcome to my haven..

why guileless haven??..according sa dictionary guileless means free from any intent to deceive or impress others..ganyan ako..i don't say or do anything just to impress others..kung anu pinapakita ko ako un..some people might hate for this attitude pero i think i'd rather be myself at mainis sila kesa they'll like me na hindi naman ako..this site will be my new haven..this blog will serve as my outlet ng emotions ko..kung anu nasa utak ko i can share it here without thinking na people will judge me..

i've been blogging for a while na..i have a different domain name dati but i decided to leave that coz di maganda ang memories nung site na un..i want to start anew..

sana dumami pa ang real friends ko through this blog..